Dux Femina Facti
by cafenera
Summary: There's a lot Duncan doesn't know about Amanda


Title: Dux Femina Facti   
  
Author: chamomile chick   
  
Rating: PG   
  
Post: If anyone ever asked to post my stories somewhere, I would get up and do a dance   
wherever I was when I saw the request. Just ask me so that I get the opportunity to embarrass   
myself in public.   
  
Author's note: Inspired by Billy Joel's Always a Woman to Me – never thought I'd write a   
songfic, but I couldn't get Amanda out of my head when I heard this. The title comes from a   
quote: "The leader of the enterprise is female," that's on a magnet I have.  
  
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There's a lot about Amanda that Duncan doesn't know.  
  
Sure, he's seen her at her worst and he best, but he can't possibly grasp what it's like to live as a  
woman for over a thousand years. What it's like to live, period, for over a thousand years.  
  
Amanda knows she's responsible for his ignorance: she discourages any perception that she's  
more than the woman he thinks he knows, and takes advantage of his patronization of her ways-  
after all this is how she's protected herself: a woman who presents little depth or acuity does not   
draw the type of attention she'd rather avoid. It's habit to present herself such, a habit she finds   
herself unable to drop even in the presence of those she trusts.  
  
But a large part of it is due to him: he categorizes her into a neat little box, not choosing to see   
past the front she puts up, and patronizing her when she reveals the least bit of herself that   
doesn't fit his image of her.  
  
Still, he disappoints her: she would think that a man of his caliber would not accept someone of   
her personage so easily without probing to see if there's more.  
  
After all, he doesn't know that she can play the flute, piano, and harp, as well as a mean air   
guitar: he's never asked.  
  
He knows she can dance, but that's because he enjoys it and shares that part of his world with   
her.  
  
He knows she's smart, clever, and quick. But he doesn't know that she's earned four degrees   
during her life, and sometimes thinks about going for a doctorate.  
  
Rebecca would expect no less.  
  
She lost her virginity when she wasn't yet fifteen for a bit of food and a warm hearth to sleep   
through the night.  
  
He knows she's good at seduction, can make any man and most women loose their train of   
thought within a minute, but he doesn't know that this is her most highly developed defense   
mechanism- it's what's kept her alive for a millennium.  
  
After all, for ninety percent of her life women were considered to be no more than accessories or  
property. Any immortal female older than a few centuries has most likely experienced rape,   
abuse, and demeanment, herself included.  
  
He knows she wakes up in the middle of the night crying, screaming, or shivering, but she won't   
explain why. He doesn't know it, but she protects him in her own way – preserving his   
innocence.  
  
Kalas was her biggest error – she didn't expect him to have company when she broke him out.   
If she'd known, there would have been two dead bodies in the alley by the jail, Duncan wouldn't  
have been any the wiser, and the world that much safer.  
  
He's told her about his work in the Second Great War, but he's never questioned her about   
where she was during that time.  
  
If he had, he would learn that she was a Red Cross nurse, and drew at least pint of her own   
blood every day to donate.  
  
She may put up a front of indifference, but she can recognize evil, and fights it in her own way.  
  
He doesn't know that she can use other weapons than her sword: she's well versed in scimitars,   
throwing knives, guns, switchblades, and, although the skill is rarely called for these days, bow   
and arrow. In addition, she's good at jujitsu, karate, and staff fighting. Sure, he spars with her,   
but she always gets the feeling that he's making some sort of sacrifice: it's almost an act of   
charity for him to lower himself to practice with her.  
  
She knows he has problems cutting off the heads of female immortals. Sometimes she wants to   
scream at him to open his eyes: for a woman to make it in the Game, she has to be ten times   
more ruthless and clever and hardened than a man.  
  
But to tell him that would be to open herself up to questions she's rather not answer, memories   
she'd rather not relate.  
  
So she doesn't tell him. She lets him believe that she's a simple thief. No more than a capricious,   
sexy, and very lucky woman.  
  
He's her safety, after all. She can look after herself in the Game and in life: she doesn't need him   
for that. She wants him as the stable force in her life who doesn't see a dark side, with whom she  
can simply pretend that she is simply a carefree and mischievous lover who requires no ties or   
promises. And she uses him as such.  
  
But it still hurts that he doesn't try to see more.  
  
THE END  
  
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Thanks for reading. Was this worth it? I think it's a little clumsy myself, but it just knocked   
around in my head for so long I had to get it out. And besides, Amanda has got to have more   
depth than the series showed - right?  



End file.
